How to Tame Your Human

Everything in my blog is written by me. But I made an exception here for a guest writer, Nekko the Cat!

Day 1 – Stroll up to the human and rub against their leg. Maybe give a meow. Don’t purr when they pet you – you don’t want to be too easy. Let them cajole you into their home and feed you. Start exploring your new abode. Is it satisfactory? Does it have a couch to scratch? Does it have stairs to run up and down at 3 in the morning? Curl up on your human. Don’t forget your beauty sleep.

Day 2 – Meow near the door. If the human is stupid, reach your front paws towards the door handle. After they let you out, scratch the door to be let in again. Do this several times. Maybe pause in the doorway so they have to hold the door open for a while. Watch them make a cat door for you so you can enter and leave whenever you feel like it. Don’t forget your beauty sleep.

Day 3 – Before your human wakes up, bite their feet to let them know your food bowl is empty. They will not neglect it again. After rewarding them by eating, go back to sleep.

Day 4 – Teach your human to play. Lie down next to them. They will pet you. Roll over on your back and show the soft hair on your tummy. It will entice them to pet you more. Bite them and add in scratching with your hind legs for good measure. That was fun. But don’t forget your beauty sleep.

Day 5 – Rest. God got to rest on the seventh day but you are a cat. Day 5 is good enough.

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